2008 Oyster Festival – Oyster Bay, Long Island

Posted in Blog, Food, Travel on October 30, 2008 by dsy140

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INSIGNIFICANCE

Posted in Blog on October 20, 2008 by dsy140

 

Is it possible to live a life of insignificance, to think to oneself “my life just doesn’t matter” in the cosmic scheme of things?

 

On a macro level, it’s easy to grab hold of such a notion.  In the realm of the global credit crisis, the political rhetoric exchanged between electoral combatants, global warming, terrorism, and so many other headline-grabbing issues, it’s easy to think of one’s existence with a degree of nonchalance and irrelevance.  That’s as close to saying “my life is one without purpose,” and that’s one scary concept to equate to one’s reality, as a life without meaning is right up there with a life not worth living.

 

Growing up, the one thing you’ll never hear someone say is “life is easy.”  It ain’t.  But sometimes adulthood has this stubborn way of clinging to the idealism of youth, and only as we experience, to varying degrees, the harshness of life’s concept of what fairness is, that we become overwhelmed by the reality of its complexities.  Faced with certainties such as death, unattainable dreams, or other inevitable frustrations, it’s easy to view ones life through a misty veil of insignificance.

 

But how do you argue your own “insignificance” with a child who views you as the hero that will always come to save the day, and guide him through his daily challenges when no one else will?  Or with a patient within whom the onslaught of cancerous cells you have just helped derail?  How about with a boss who views your “meager” contributions as more like a significant piece of a puzzle to a problem he has been commissioned to solve?  Or a friend with whom your routine emails have served as a lifeline to a social connection that somehow confirmed he is not simply an island?  What about your significant other, who simply view your “mere” presence as a reassurance that the days yet to come are to be filled with longing anticipation, as they are to be spent with you? 

 

How can one contemplate insignificance when words uttered in either anger or love have a direct consequence on how the receiving party gets to feel after the encounter; or when a decision to either buy or not buy has a direct effect on whether the seller gets to feed his own family when he gets home at the end of the day?

 

I guess we’re all far more interconnected than we care to realize, and we all matter to a degree we’re willing to accept responsibility of the significance we all have in our own little circle of influence, and how much we care to be a vehicle for either positive consequence, or destructive  outcome.

 

As in everything else, it’s our choice.

 

 

 

 

An Empty House

Posted in Blog on October 7, 2008 by dsy140

It’s been a while since I’ve entered into a kitchen devoid of mom’s cooking, a living room without the flashing images nor the sounds from the TV, with dad plopped on his favorite chair always with a snack on hand.

All it took was a month…a mere 30 days…for them to ingrain themselves into our daily routine. It wasn’t seamless by any means, but it doesn’t take much for the two people who had brought you into this world, who had nurtured you and influenced you to be the person you are today, to have an impact in your life, both past and present.

Today, as I got home after bringing them to the airport, I walked into a empty house, supposedly with a warm anticipation of things going back to normal. But instead I was overwhelmed by lingering thoughts of mom’s last feeble hugs at the airport, and dad’s waning lucidity, and the forced smiles that we gave each other at the security gate as we said goodbye.

Today I come home to an empty house with an empty heart. And it’ll always be that way every time they come for a visit.

We Shouldn’t Have To…But We All Eventually Will….

Posted in Blog on September 30, 2008 by dsy140

 

…deal with the Grim Reaper that is. 

 

Not the moment when he comes knocking at your own door, mind you.  I’m referring to when he pays a visit to those that we love, or to the loved ones of those that we love.  Directly or indirectly, it doesn’t really matter.  Like what Ben Franklin said, “…in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

 

I think we all have those “what if” moments, and we’re scared shit of them.  To entertain the thought is to anticipate, and then the notion becomes inevitable, not that it can be avoided anyway.  Truth is, we don’t really know how it will hit us when it does happen – how would we react, would a tear be shed, or would bawling and wailing be involved?  All I know is it’s probably going to hurt – it’s probably going to hurt a lot. 

 

“To each his own” I think would be apt in terms of how one deals with such a scenario.  There is no magic pill to take, no magic wand to wave.  It’s like a bad mouth sore that take its own sweet time to heal, no matter what medication is vainly applied.  It’s a passage that needs to be traversed, a journey that has to be taken, without any solace of an escape route or a backdoor. 

 

As a friend, it’s probably one of the hardest things to do – to sit by the wayside, knowing there’s really not much you can do to alleviate your friend’s suffering, just as, if you’re the one immersed in the journey, words of comfort and consolation can’t seem to penetrate the darkness of the black hole you have managed to fall into.  The question I guess is as a friend, would I stay in the darkness with you, allowing myself to wallow in this necessary “evil”, so we can come out into the light together?  Or to simply be there on the other side, waiting, with arms wide open, to welcome you out from the labyrinth?

 

The other thing is, if I already know the inevitability of such journeys, shouldn’t I take the time to care a little more, experience moments a little deeper, and treasure them like there’s no tomorrow?  Wouldn’t that just intensify the hurt I’m eventually going to feel? 

 

I think it’s a moot point altogether.  Who knows what things are already written in the stars?  Who’s to say I’m won’t be hearing the Reaper’s knock on the door some time tomorrow?  Wouldn’t I have preferred a lifetime of treasured moments filled with love as opposed to the contrary?  Wouldn’t I have more control over how I am to live each day rather than how I’ll be receiving my own passing, or that of a loved one? 

 

For me at least the choice is clear.

 

 

Mother & Child

Posted in Pets on August 9, 2008 by dsy140

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Brother and Sister

Thoughts On Evan

Posted in Blog on August 8, 2008 by dsy140

Disclaimer: This is neither a review nor a recommendation.

I caught Evan Almighty on the tube last night. It stars Steve Carell as Evan, and Morgan Freeman (the identifiable voice behind the current Olympics ads; hope he’s recovering nicely from his recent motor vehicle accident) as God.

The one scene in this lighthearted comedy that struck me profoundly was when Evan’s wife was talking with God, disguised as a bus boy, in a restaurant after she had just left Evan, taking their 3 sons with her, because she couldn’t understand nor take anymore Evan’s preoccupation with building an ark (as instructed by God,) thereby falling from grace in the public’s eyes from that of a promising junior congressman to a genuine laughing stock.

The gist of God’s message to Evan’s wife was this: When you pray for something, God doesn’t necessarily grant you that very thing outright – He just provides you with the opportunity to attain it. If you pray for closeness within the family, God doesn’t magically wave a wand and everyone suddenly feels close to one another – He provides the circumstances so that the opportunity to be close is there – you just need to recognize it, and do something with it. What we do with that opportunity is really up to us.

How often is it that we wish for something, and put the blinders on with our narrow expectations, that we fail to see the many opportunities out there that could lead us to what we want to ultimately achieve?

Sidenote: Evan asked how does one “change the world”? God said – through one simple random act of kindness.

Spike’s Fish Market in Point Pleasant NJ

Posted in Food on July 27, 2008 by dsy140

After our trip to Six Flags Great Adventure this morning to check out the venue where Chapter 2 will be performing on August 24, we swung by our favorite “hole in the wall” (not anymore – word has gone out!!!) seafood restaurant in Pt. Pleasant, NJ – Spike’s Fish Market

It was 4 pm, and the place was jam packed, not to mention the terrible traffic we needed to endure with the new traffic patterns being enforced in the area.  Still, the lobster bisque, pot of steamers and garlic mussels pretty much made up for those little inconveniences.

Spike's Fish Market in Point Pleasant, NJ

Bowl of Lobster Bisque

Pot of Garlic Mussels

Bucket of Steamers